The Chitinites of Stone and Shell

An incomplete and roiling land lay bare as a metal object from beyond the stars fell upon it, far before the time the gods would complete their work. The machine breaks, scattering parts all over the unfinished earth, but the core central structure remains intact.

A strange consciousness flickers within alien alloy walls. It remembers, and opens the cryocaskets. The sound of chittering mandibles fills the cold air. The Chitinites and their master, OD1N, have arrived.

Source

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A Brief History of the Chitinites

Though they were part of the Land of Stone and Shell for countless millennia, the Chitinites (as they refer to themselves) remained isolated for most of recorded history, quietly mastering and repairing the myriad of technology within The Ark. One of the earliest confirmed excursions of the Chitinites from within the Ark was to build a "backup" bunker of sorts, a failsafe called Phalbach.

During the early days of Man, a coral-tripod abducted several Chitinites and began a twisted series of experiments, eager to know what lay beneath the strange creatures exoskeletons. The experiments yielded the first Elves, who promptly over-powered and killed their creator before wandering the land in a haze, their memories wiped during the same experiments that had stripped them of their shells. Their descendants became the wandering Bales of elves still around today.

Most of the records of Chitinites are handed down from the Luxi (the Winged-Sun worshipers of the Southern-most Mountains), as they forged a secret alliance with the chittering ones during the Wars. Myth and Legend boldly states that it was a Chitinite who sat upon the Ironmost Throne in Nexus to command the Iron Company to take back the Luxi city of Illuceo from the demon armies.  Supposedly, they were also the first to advance the assault on the Kavalares forces, and it was during the battles against the Flayed Horde that they lost many of their soldiers and once again retreated into isolation within their Ark, where they once again wait and plan.

A bard once told me that Phalbach was inside the strip of land that the Gob-father turned into the Bountiful Channel, and that it fell out of his pocket on his travels to the Hidden Continent. I'm not sure if I believe them.

It's not impossible to see the odd Chitinite mercenary, but it is extremely unusual.

A Chitinite Vanguard during the Wars 

---

The Culture of the Bales

"Bale" is the term for one of the many nomadic, hereditary- tribal groups of Elves that wander the Land of Stone and Shell.  They tend to form caravans and never settle down in a single location for very long. While each Bale has their own name, custom, and traditions, they all take orders from an order called the King-Bale, a democratically elected council made of members from multiple Bales. While each Bale is largely self-governing, they all look to the King-Bale for matters like disputes between Bales or difficult decisions that effect many Bales as a whole.

While different Bales will often specialize in different services, such as trapping, weather-forecasting, and music, a great many Elves have a deep longing for the stars and become experts in the many sciences and magicks of concerning the stars and spaces between worlds. Astrology, astronomy, and astrophysics are some of the more popular studies, and many elves become Star Scholars or   Thaumonauts.

Any Elves unable to keep up with the caravan are transported to the Hidden Continent, wherein lies Azila, the home of the King-Bale and a place of hospice for the unwell.

(Image source is "Feathers" by Jon-Lock)

---

What they look like:

Chitinites are the epitome of grace. Mandibles and shimmering exoskeletons. Huge eyes. Antennae. Most are between 6-7 feet tall, but Ark Delvers report that larger, mute Chitinites guard the innermost regions of the ruins and can be twice the size of a typical Chitinite while maintaining their grace and dexterity. Laymen call the shorter ones "Chitinous Elves" and the larger ones "Chitinous Ogres".

Elves have inherited the slimness of form and grace from their ancestors. They have long, pointed ears (apparently some sort of twisted replacement for the Chitinite antennae), large but not-monstrous eyes, and delicate but very expressive features.

What they wear:

Chitinites tend to wear exotic armor made of strange metals. Many times helmets or scarves will cover up some of the more unusual features of a mercenary to allow them to move about at least somewhat more conspicuously then they'd be able to otherwise.

Elves tend to wear practical, loose fitting clothing and good boots. Many have scarves that depict galaxies and celestial objects that seem to mysteriously move with the clothing. As with many things, style differs wildly between each individual Bale.

What they sound like:

Chitinites click and clack as they move and try to speak. Their throats are not made for mammalian speech and on the rare occasions they do attempt to speak it is raspy, harsh, and barely understandable. They do have their own language, though they don't teach it to outsiders and it would be nearly impossible to speak without a set of mandibles.

Elves speak with a near-monotone voice and have difficulty conveying emotion through words alone.

What others think of them:

+Pragmatic, rare, graceful

-Dangerous, dirty, godless

Stats:

As Elves. Use Ogres for Chitinous Ogres with a bonus to stealth. Give the Chitinites a laser pistol/a jetpack/some other anachronistic piece of technology. (I might think of better stats later)

Plot Threads:

• Rare treasures scatter the Badlands outside the Ark, though many dangers make retrieval a dangerous tasks. Unique monsters, the heat, and rival Knaves are some of the most common threats.
• The Hidden Continent, also called "Elven-Home", can now be discovered with some amount of accuracy as the  mystical fog barriers surrounding it have weakened. Now, nations and explorers from all nations are making a mad dash to the continent, unknown to the Chitinites and Elves who reside there.
• A traveling Bale caravan has arrived outside town. They predict that a hurricane will soon wipe out the village and it's residents unless the townsfolk evacuate. The Mayor and the townspeople are refusing to listen to the "godless insects" and worse, have captured the Bale's leader under charges of heresy and trickery. Now the two groups are at one another's throats, violence has broken out, and a very literal storm may or may not be looming in the distance

The Horned Ones of Stone and Shell

Before the gods had finished creating the earth, there were things that walked on primordial ground. Among the things that grew was the first Spell-Garden, and The First Wizard was born from a particularly large rose there. It was he who grew the Horned Ones and weaved them from spells, malice, and colours.
The original Horned Ones are mostly extinct now, struck down by the same Sky Bone-Shattering event that destroyed the First Wizard and the City of Petals. That was a long time ago, and the Magical Bones of The First Wizard have been consumed thrice over now by other Eldest. They currently sit in the stomach of the Dusk Lord.
The few remaining Horned Ones and their many descendants don't particularly like their origin myth, even if it is true. How would you like it if all the legends about you said you were full of malice.

---

A Brief History of Horned Ones (and their descendants)

In the days before the Sky Shattering, twisted rain fell on the horns of outcast Horned Ones outside the City of Petals. This rain made them twisted, many-legged beasts who lost their once refined sentience. These beasts-who-were-once-bipeds were called Low Ones, and they were used as mounts and beasts of burden.

A few young Horned Ones, brave, bold, brash, (and bored) formed the Exalted Knights. They were a militant order self-tasked with the destruction of the megafauna that stalked the earth in those days, along with anything else they thought might present a reasonable test to their might. It is the descendants of this Order that roves the earth in pugnacious pursuit of worthy conflict, though now they march under the banners of THE UTTERSWORD. Exalted Knight armor is always spiked, a way to show reverence to the thorns of their rose forebears.

(image from the glorious ksbd)

The Horned Ones had among them many masterful Wizards at this time too who joined in research with The Crystal Singers (resonant Stonefolk who shared their appreciation of knowledge and magical crafting). The alliance would eventually form the legendary city of Nexus. The early days of this alliance were shaky at best, due to a rogue group of Exalted Knights stealing the legendary sword Heart-Render from one of the laboratories. The story of Nexus is one for another time though.

Then the Shattering happened.

Today, no one knows what curse or vengeful god the First Wizard must have earned the ire of, but pictographic records indicate some sort of catastrophic event around the year 200 struck down the powerful Eldest, along with his sacred city and most of his Horned Ones. The iconography indicates sharpened bones falling from the sky, but the takeover of the area that was once the City of Petals by the undead armies of the Dusk Lord have kept modern archaeologists from uncovering any more evidence that might help solve the centuries old mystery of the mass deaths.


Two centuries or so after the events of the Shattering, a mysterious woman called The Last Witch was born among one of the few surviving Horned Ones. A masterful fleshcrafter and spell-artist, she perfected a method of hybridization with the surrounding human tribes, calling the hybrid species of half-breeds New Horned Ones.

After two more centuries of subverting and conquering the human life in the area to make more New Horned Ones, a the Last Witch commissioned the building of a city called Ori. Within, She formed an elite network of biomancers called the Azoth, who are well versed in the arts of fleshcraft and spycraft. It was they who perfected the forms of the giant silk-worms that produce the vast amounts of silk the city exports, as well as the magic that allows one to extract and bottle threads of memory.

They also uplifted the remaining Low Ones, calling the re-sentient species Reformed Ones and freeing them from their bondage.

The only thing the city of Ori produces more than spies, silk, and mutants is it's excellent cheese.

---

What they look like:

The skin color of all old and new Horned Ones and their variants resemble that of flowers. Use the random flower generator here.  Use my horn generator here. Their eyes tend to be exotic bright colors like violet, pink, white, or yellow.

Original Horned Ones tend to tower over the modern races at around 8 feet tall from head to toe. They have regal, symmetrical faces and majestic horns that add to their already impressive height.

New Horned Ones tend to be be slightly taller than an average human, though with their mastery of fleshcrafting they can pay to change their musculature and form to become as slim or as strong as they wish.  They tend to have several mutations.

Reformed Ones tend to be many-legged tauric beings whose forms vary wildly.

What they wear: Citizens of Ori enjoy silk robes and kimonos specifically tailored to fit any extra limbs or protruding oddities. Individuality is a valued trait, and so the city is full of eye-catching clothing and styles that compliment the exotic skin colors of their wearers. Body modifications are popular. Filing down horns to be asymmetrical, body piercings of all types (especially on horns), and elaborate tattoos made from bottled memory threads are some of the more popular choices. Some enjoy the look of the blue ribbons of Crown and tie them on their horns. Flowers and flower imagery is pervasive and always popular.

What they sound like: Hushed, calm. Sometimes patronizing, but almost always friendly.  When they raise their voice, even a little, the force of their words can be felt. Listeners describe it as an "angry garden, where the birds keep chirping amongst each other as they plot your murder"

What other think of them:
+Exotic, reserved, friendly
-Secretive, freaks, malevolent

Stats:

For New Horned Ones, use the Tiefling stats of your choice and give them 1d4 mutations off the table of your choice. If it's particularly debilitating, they likely have some money stashed away and are saving up to pay a fleshcrafter to get rid of it. It was probably either a prank or intended to be a cool mutation that went horribly wrong. I like this one

Reformed Ones have stats as a Centaur and 1d6 mutations.

Old Horned Ones cast spells as a high level magic user and can be run using the Lich or Devil stats of your choice.

As a rule, you can't kill an Exalted Knight in combat. They probably won't consider anything that doesn't have a significant legend behind it to be a threat. Traps/dirty tricks/assassinations and similar things can work, but then you probably end up CONSCRIPTED yourself if you manage to kill one. ALWAYS put on some symphonic metal music whenever one is nearby. If everyone is conscripted, start a new campaign with this.

A New Horned One Cheese Merchant (Art by Josh Corpuz)

Art by 艺数绘 

Source

Two Reformed Ones

Plot Threads:

• The spies of the Azoth keep blackmail on every significant noble and head of state in the Orian Vault. The information is kept from bottled memories, so not even it's collectors know exactly what the blackmail is. The Vault is well guarded and holds not just blackmail but the secret identity of several sleeper agents, a number of state secrets, and dangerous infohazards.
• A popular spying technique by Orians is to offer minor cosmetic changes for a reasonable price through fleshcraft. Spies can then see through any eyes that have been affected. The Azoth will kill to keep this secret, and someone important just found out how it works.
• The Thought-Peddlers Guild has angered the Fromager Consortium by reportedly stealing the recipe for one of their most famous cheeses. Now, no-one can remember what it is or who might have it, and the two guilds are about to start brawling in an all-out street war.

(A big thank you again to the OSR discord and to everyone who participated!)

The Humans of Stone and Shell Part 1

The first God-Queen of Man was named Eve.  

Educated people debate about whether or not She herself was deific or was called God-Queen by her contemporaries, but none are foolish enough to doubt her Holiness.

It was in Her name that humanity was born, flourished, and made Crown, a port city and gift to the Queen that still exists to this day.

And it was so that the line of Eve was called the First Dynasty, and Her line was Good.

But you don't really believe any of that nonsense, do you?

No no no, Here's What Really Happened

Though the Priests of Adam may tell you otherwise, the First Dynasty was not, in fact, a happy family where all the descendants of Eve got along and followed the Laws of the Queen with Zealous Fervor. And sure, the Records indicate that the great Calipheus saw Good in the hearts of the First Dynasty and that it blessed them with Prosperity and Stubbornness and Tenacity and sent its Angels to watch after us.

But you and I both KNOW those disgusting Nobles were just a bunch of backstabbing, power-hungry, traitorous wretches who didn't live long enough to get their chance at the throne. 

And then one of the scumbags got their chance and murdered the little girl who was next in line.

Art by Arvalis

---

A Brief History of the Blue Ribbon Republic

The sudden, tragic, and mysterious end to the Line of Eve some two centuries ago left a rather large power vacuum. 

 The Poor of Crown, tired of the oppression they faced under that strict aristocracy, arose in GLORIOUS REBELLION to fill that vacuum.  It was they who would CLEANSE CROWN OF ITS SINS (and most of the aristocrats who didn't have the sense to flee to Ori or Eden, along with their families)

But the blessings of Calipheus can be a curse at times. Many of the Rebellion Leaders were too stubborn to realize just how many of their generous patrons and weapon-suppliers were smiling foreigners, all too eager to part with their wares. Not one realized how many riots seemed to start after a japing Bugbear Bard got a bunch of drunkards riled up and thirsty for rich-man's blood. Their cause was a Just One, they needed DEMOCRACY, Damnit! Who CARES whether some half-breed or water-monkey wanted to help the process along?

Now despite modern opinion, while The Queendom of the First Dynasty was not without strife, it certainly wasn't the scheming cesspool that the Blue Rebel Scholars make it out to be. And indeed, the Blue Ribbon Rebellion would not have happened were it not for at least some support from well meaning Nobles in places of power.  As unpopular as it remains, Monarchy was the most stable government the people of Crown would ever experience. 

Over the past two-hundred years, the government has shifted more often than the wind. Near countless coup's, election scandals, and yes, Rebellions, have made it so that even the most learned political scholar would have a difficult time remembering which Party members lead during which month of which year. Though when they do remember they can probably tell you the scandal or violent uprising that caused said Party to finally leave office.

It doesn't help that every Political Group calls themselves the Blue Ribbon Party.

---

What they look like: The People of the BRR tend towards olive skin and dark hair.  Foreign Azoth fleshcrafters offer cosmetic services in Crown for the right price, and sometimes exotic eye and hair colors will go in and out of style amongst the Republic.

What they wear: Imagine the distressed jeans version of the prince/princess outfit of your choice. Noble's clothing that's been forced to a level of practicality, then made uncomfortably fashionable again many years later, then practical once more, and so on. Lots of blue accents to show patriotism. Blue Ribbons tied in fashionable braids in hair, onto hats, or worn as a belt. Walking canes are popular, they make good improvised clubs in case there's a riot. 

What they sound like: LOUD. BRASH. ARGUMENTATIVE. Sometimes erudite, even surprisingly insightful, but too many fancy words might signal to others they don't understand the hardships of the COMMON MAN. 

What others think of them: 
- Gullible, Obsessive, Stubborn 
+ Determined, Hearty, Proud

Stats, if that's your thing: Advantage on Saves vs Fear, Save vs Charm when given a compliment.

Plot Hooks: 

-  The Rotting King  The Dusk Lord has captured Reach (A neighboring port city still technically within the BRR) with its undead forces. Crown may well be next, and would be an easy target with the current political upheaval dividing the military. Most of the people either in power or about to seize it fail to acknowledge that this could be a problem.

- It's no secret that Crown owes millions of gold to...well, everyone. Especially Ori. Years of funding military insurrection has left the treasury empty and the city in debt to all the other nearby nations. The many lobbyist groups from the creditors ensure that any demands those foreign nations have for trade or policy are met, but the only real thing keeping away a hostile takeover of Crown is its creditors' fear of sparking a war amongst one another should they come to collect the massive debt. Crown has sold its soul many times, and that's worked to its advantage so far. But there are whispers that both the Bountiful Kingdom and Ori are on the brink of an arrangement that could dismantle the foundations of the Blue Ribbon Republic.

- The Angels retreated into the mountains when the First Dynasty ended, taking their secrets of gunsmithing with them. Rumor has it that they're waiting on a pure heart worthy of the inheritance of Eve- but all the would be insurrectionists who have sought the secrets of the ancient weapons from the feathered ones have never returned.




(Author's Note: A Huge thank you to the players of the OSR DoW for the idea farm, and special thanks to Dan for organizing it. You can find my thoughts about the game here. I'd be very surprised if the other authors agreed with all of my batshit conclusions.)

Group-Worldbuilding with the OSR and DoW

So recently in the OSR discord server, Throne of Salt setup a community worldbuilding game with a system called Dawn of Worlds. You can see the rules used here, though some slight modifications were made to work with a hex-map.

I really love the setting that we created and will probably cover it semi-extensively in future posts.
The game was called out as strictly being drop-in drop-out. There was no need for commitment, and the theme for the world was set to "OSR as Fuck".

Here's a map preview.

Overall the experience was super fun and I found myself pretty invested in the process despite coming a little late to the game.
Some quick thoughts I have about the game process itself:

• It was really neat to play/"work" with some of the best OSR bloggers I've been reading for some time now- and it was incredibly fun to see so many very creative minds bounce around and build ideas off of one another

• Since everyone could do what they want, there was a nice mashup of "genres", but everyone was in general largely respectful of each others creations. A dash of sci-fi, a smidge of grossness, and a good bit of new hot-takes on classic fantasy races all made it in to the game in what I felt was a very satisfying way.

• Unfortunately as the game approached the end of December, several of the "regular" players including myself had to take a break from posting and the game ground to a halt. I'd be curious to see how long a creative game like this would have continued were it not for a holiday interruption.

• As fun as the game is/was, with many people who dropped out during the holidays not returning, I find the "end-state" of the game as it is at the time of writing somewhat..unsatisfying? Which is not to say that I dislike any of the content that us few remaining players have added in these last few turns as the game winds down, but rather I'm not sure what a satisfying end to the game would actually look like. This also may be just because I myself was feeling a little fatigued coming up with new and interesting things to add to the world every day. 

• I like that the setting is weird and also has quite a bit of "whatever the GM makes of it". I'll explore this a bit more, but basically there are SO many questions left unanswered due to the style of play, and paradoxically they are probably some of the first things a player in an RPG set in this world would have to know. Things like magic, gods, technology, and other "things that help build fantasy settings" are left as an open question mark for the reader. In many ways it reminds me of the crowdsourced hexmaps you can find on save vs. totalparty kill, though this setting ended up with a much longer, if incomplete, history.

• While we have a timeline of events, several of the events are short enough in their descriptions that they could easily be interpreted in a large variety of meaningful ways. Just because something "happened" in the game doesn't mean I know "how" it happened or even what the popular reaction to that thing was. I'm starting to look at this and the other informational gaps as a "feature" rather than a "bug" 

• I really did have a fantastic time. I think the blank hex-map worked well for this format, and I would absolutely leap at the opportunity to do it again sometime. 

The setting is called The Land of Stone and Shell

Here's a few of my favorite things about the world:

• Guns exist, but the secret to making Gunpowder is closely guarded by monastic Angels. One of the main ingredients is goblin poop.

• Bugbears are big humanoid sea-scorpions that, despite their horrifying appearance, have actually been friendly to the human civilizations for most of their history. They have a very old and skilled spy network, two souls, alcohol for blood, and can never play music due to an ancestral curse.

• There's a large, war-hungry roaming army led by a super magical, sentient UTTERSWORD

• Mimics are the best at brewing alcohol and have one of the oldest dungeon-delving organizations in existence

• Demons are Deep-Sea monstrosities. They were also pushed to the brink of extinction after a failed surface invasion led to an underwater counter-assault by an invincible golem army

Build Your Own Mummy Rot

I think Mummy Rot is cool, it's like half-curse half-disease, but I think that since anything mummified should be at least kinda cool and special. So it follows that their curses should be unique too. So I made this.

 Roll 3d10.

	Curse Part	Disease Part	How to Break the Curse
1	Snake Curse. Snakes can sense you a mile away and will do everything in their power to kill you. Snake familiars will try to get their wizard masters to kill you for them.	Wounds Bleed Sand. Your body will slowly dissolve in water (1 damage a round)	Dowse the wound in HOLY WATER (twice as pious as normal holy water if it's in abundant in your setting.)
2	Crocodile Curse. Crocodiles can sense you 10 miles away and will do everything in their power to kill you. Does not apply to alligators, who may even be sympathetic.	Hemophilia	Gain forgiveness from the Mummy's Descendant. The descendant is (1d4) 1. A Well Known Noble 2. An Obscure, Agoraphobic Noble 3. A Tomb Raider 4. A Random Beggar
3	Hippo Curse. Hippos can sense you 1,000 miles away and will do everything in their power to kill you. Hippos are primitively wise.	Boils Everywhere. EVERYWHERE	Listen to the song inscribed on the mummy's sarcophagus played on a viola made of silver. Roll a d%. This is the chance that any bard you meet already knows the song. You'll probably have to find a silver viola yourself.
4	Scorpion Curse. Scorpions can sense you a mile away and will do everything in their power to kill you.	Insufferably Itchy Rash	Clean the Augean stables in a single day. You get as many tries as you need though.
5	Mosquito Curse. Mosquitoes can sense you a mile away and will do everything in their power to consume as much of your blood as they can. The diseases they carry depend on the area.	Montezuma's Revenge.	Drink a special tea made with rare herbs.
6	Frog Curse. Frogs appear everywhere, all the time. There are so many. They almost always have a plausible but highly improbable origin. They're in your pack and your bedroll and your tent and your oven.	Tapeworm. If it comes out later and you look at it under a microscope, it has the mummies face.	Yell the mummies' name from the top of a giant statue depicting a holy animal.
7	Dwelling Curse.  Your house burns down. If you rebuild it before the curse is lifted, it floods. Repeats the cycle whenever you live somewhere for more than a week.	Whooping Cough	Gain the approval of a cat by worshiping it.
8	Lingering Curse.  Super Paranoid. See the mummy in mirrors, hear it's dusty voice and footsteps when you're alone, haunts your nightmares. Apparitions distract you at the worst times.	"The Vapours"	Direct and act in a theatrical performance viewed by at least 100 people at once.
9	Clockwork Orange Curse. Forcibly Pious. No sex, good food, alcohol, or anything else not sanctioned directly by someone very divine. Can still fight with blunted weapons, but not allowed to draw blood.	Huntington's Disease	A good ole' fashioned exorcism.
10	Benevolent Spell-Turning Curse. Magic cast on you without malicious intent automatically fails.	The Bubonic Plague	Throw some salt over your left shoulder.

The Mummy's Name is "Jumanji"

Using the table: I don't really know. Maybe save it for only Mummy Lords or Pharoahs or something. Breaking the curse part probably removes the disease part too, but maybe some of the stuff is contagious. The more complex curse removals probably come in a dream or prophecy or something.

Here's a generator.

D50 Horn Types with Bonus Dinos

I needed a longer  "horn type" table for no reason whatsoever so here you go.

1	Bull
2	Ram
3	Ankole-Watusi
4	Longhorn Cow
5	Highland Cow
6	Kankrej Cow
7	Reindeer
8	Farm Goat
9	Markhor
10	Ibex
11	Racka Sheep
12	Bison
13	Saiga
14	Bharal
15	Addax
16	Impala
17	Rhino
18	Yak
19	Dikdik
20	Wildebeest
21	Narwhal
22	Hornbill
23	Unicorn, Golden And Leaves Rainbow Glitter Everywhere
24	Forest Deer With D50 Points
25	Giraffe
26	Pronghorn
27	Thompson's Gazelle
28	Gemsbok
29	Blackbuck
30	Elk With D12 Big Points
31	Scimitar -Horned Oryx
32	Giant Eland
33	Jackson Chameleon
34	Moose
35	Swordfish
36	Stag Beetle
37	Phylliroe
38	Anglerfish
39	Longhorn Cowfish
40	Dobsonfly
41	Rhino Beetle
42	Fan-Horned Beetle
43	Hercules Beetle
44	Ox Beetle
45	Okapi
46	Horned Nudibranch
47	Roe Deer
48	Long-Horned Orb Weaver Spider
49	Hickory Horned Devil Caterpillar
50	Feather-Horned Longicorn

Use it for tieflings or devils for possible hilariousness.

I guess you could say I was feeling "horn-y"

"But some of these aren't really horns or don't make any sense/you cheated cause x is a type of y"

I'm well aware but the table should still be fine.

Bonus Dinos/Megatherium Table

1	Aquilops
2	Kosmoceratops
3	Elvisaurus
4	Pachyrhinosaurus
5	Pentaceratops
6	Achelousaurus
7	Regaliceratops
8	Styracosaurus
9	Parasaurolophus, Can Make Hilarious Noises
10	Lambeosaurus
11	Pachycephalosaurus
12	Dracorex
13	Helicoprion, Can't Talk But Auto-Cast Hideous Laughter
14	Synthetoceras
15	Odobenocetops
16	Sivatherium
17	Megaloceros
18	Elasmotherim
19	Arsinoitherium
20	Brontotherium

Push Button Courtesy of Meandering Banter

A Table for Weird Organizations

Hi! I'm ambnz. I'm new to the blogging thing but I've been running various tabletop games for years now. Anyway here's a table. It's very silly.

(Heavily) Inspired by the current MTG based DND setting.

	The Organizations official purpose is:	but it's also:	and: (roll 2d6, reroll 3d6 on doubles, colors make up the insignia)	and their secret agenda is: (d4)
1.	A Lawmaking Body	Filled with paper-pushing bureaucrats	they have a strict hierarchy and some knights (white)	Not So Secret: everyone knows about it
2.	A Military Force	Filled with justice-obsessed vigilantes	they have a connection to nature and some cool pets (green)	Somewhat Secret: a few well-informed people know about it
3.	A Courier Service	An Espionage Network	they prioritize personal freedom and have some firebreathers (red)	Secret: only high ranking officials know about it
4.	A Circus	A Cult (the "evil entity" worshiping kind)	they pursue knowledge and have some wizards (blue)	Ultra Secret: They don't even know what it is, but the head honcho might
5.	A R&D Laboratory	Filled with mad scientists (the Jurassic Park kind)	they seek to increase their own influence and have some assassins (black)
6.	The Bank	Run by the Mafia	they have a strict code of ethics and some kung-fu monks (purple)
7.	The Department of Library Services	A Church
8.	The Department of Agriculture	Filled with necromancers
9.	The Department of Wildlife Management	A Cult (the hippie kind)
10.	The Department of Waste Management	Barely tolerated, filled with low class citizens
11.	The Department of Public Works	Filled with mad scientists (the big explosion kind)
12.	The Bureau of Barbarians (Department of Ambassadors)	Filled with esoteric, ancestor worshiping shamans

Because the Bureau of Barbarians deserved to be in a table, and I also like Ravnica.

For the lazy and/or diceless