Monday, August 19, 2019

An Examination of the Courts of the Fae: Gravity and Tea-Time

The Fae Courts of Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter are the most well known Major Courts. But there are many more.

All of them will greet you with open arms. All of them will be polite. All will try to use you.

The Fae Court of Gravity

Copyright Paizo
A powerful court not prone to the same transitions of power suffered by what they view as the inferior courts of weather and seasons. Their influence does remain frustratingly limited over such places as the Astral Sea, Elemental Plane of Air, and over what they call "Cursed Featherfolk" (Angels)


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Fae members of the Court of Gravity skew towards squat, heavy-set figures or stretch tall and freakishly thin. They tend to be impeccably well dressed, making tailored suits and dresses from the substance between the stars.

They want: To laugh as you fall from great heights. To watch you drop things on their enemies. They want you to capture the Bird Monarchs, alive, so that they may renegotiate the terms of their contract. They want you to sabotage the Thaumonaut's research, so that the gravity-well may not be breached again.

Their gifts: Flightless-bird mounts, which they had bred specifically to spite their winged and clever kin. Gravity grenades. Staffs or wands that summon black holes. Submarines or other methods to survive crushing depths and environments. Silk made from the blackness between stars. Hammers or clubs that are impossibly dense, making them strike with unimaginable force and practically unwieldable by all but their owner. Information on the secret empire that spread beyond the stars. They may be bullied to grant methods of flight in extreme circumstances, but these are notoriously unreliable.

Their Displeasure and Curses: Making you lopsided, clumsy, and likely to trip. Cursing your feet to never leave the ground at the same time, not even to jump. The hostility of all flightless birds you encounter.

Their Leader is: The King of Stars, a conscious black hole.

The Court is difficult to find. Birds and Bees might know of a portals location on the Material Plane if you can speak to them, but they don't wish to risk the wrath of the Court should you show yourself to be an unwelcome guest there. Gates might be conjured through paradoxical places of gravity, such as collecting two tons of feathers and steel on each end of a large scale. Neutron Stars always lead to the Court of Gravity if you can survive the trip.

The Fae Court of Tea-Time


Traders and diplomats who influence grand political discourse and trade across the realms. "Tea-Time" is the modern eras designation of the hour associated with rest, discourse, politics, backstabbing, rumor-mongering, trade, and poison. A "young" court, in the comparative sort of way that they've only been around since the First Nap. While their influence does not wax and wane in the predictable sort of fashion as the Courts of Seasons, they hold no power over wild beasts or druid types. They thus despise undomesticated animals and druids of all sort, and their powers weakens as the Material Plane embraces savagery. They are bitter enemies with the Court of Apocalypse, but act as messengers and neutral ambassadors for many other Fae Courts.

Fae members of the Court of Tea-Time tend to look deceptively mundane. They have an air of familiarity. Upon seeing them you swear you might swear you have met them at a family reunion or a cousin's party. Many appear regal, or elderly. Still others disguise themselves as butlers and maids. Surprisingly, there is no uniform dress code or fashion. Ragged clothing and strange, exotic, and outdated fashions are just as prevalent as impeccable dress. There are no visual indicators of status here, and it is quite easy to insult someone important accidentally. This is by design. Do not trust your eyes in the Court of Tea-Time.

They want: To have tea with you and discuss the weather in refined and polite discourse. For you to mandate laws keeping the hour of tea-time in the kingdom. For you to venture into the Plate of Spices to secure more trade routes, caravans, and tea varieties. For you to assassinate their rivals with poison, undetected.  For you to just relax and take a nap more often. For you to entertain their boorish relatives at a family gathering in their place. For you to serve them as a Cafe Princess.

Their gifts: Enchanted Tea. Poisons. Drugs. Accouterments that improve how others receive you. Cursing your rivals. Sentient,

Their Displeasure and Curses: All drink turns bitter and vile in your mouth. A cursed slumber. Sending you to Wonderland. Forcing you to have tea with an unpleasant relative of theirs in their place. Turning you mad. Taking away your ability to tell time.

Their Leader is: Unknown. Nicknamed The Rumour, as they may not exist. One of the butlers or elderly appearing members are the prime suspects.

The Court is easy to find if you learn the name of any one of their many members. During the local cultures designated tea-time, simply partake of an expensive brew at a local cafe and utter the words "I heard a rumour concerning (name of Court member" and one of their rivals will appear to listen. The rumour need not have any truth to it. If the summoned Fae finds your rumour adequate, they will give you an invitation to visit them in the Court of Tea-Time, complete with instructions to find it.